SOME CATCH, THAT CATCH 22

CATCH 22 by Joseph Heller, great book. I read it about 35 or 40 years ago, maybe I should read it again. They made it a movie. It became an anti-Viet Nam War statement.

I can't relly get into it all because this post would become a small book (read the book or rent the movie), but basically the hero, fed up with flying in bombers over Europe during WW2, and sure that he's going to die, figures he can get out of it if he can convince the army (the US didn't have a separate Air Force in those days) he was crazy. But here's the catch, rule # 22... If you report that you are crazy, then you are sane, since you have the ability to recognize your insanity, so you can't be insane if you think you're insane.... Or some circular reasoning along those lines. "Some Catch, that Catch 22".

Back to the last post...

Abdul Rahman may get to keep his head attached to his body after all. Islamic Catch 22.... If he is crazy enough to admit that he rejects Islam and converts to Christianity, he must be too crazy to stand trial for converting to Christianity. This is actually a pretty good catch for Abdul, as well as George W. and his gang. The US citizenry (and the rest of the "Coalition of the Willing") won't have to watch a public beheading on CNN (or in Cheny's case, FOX).

The bad news is that the Afghan Courts still don't recognize a basic freedom, the right to worship (or not worhip, as the case may be) as you wish. Oh well, we're nation building, and Rome wasn't built in a day. At least the thugs who are now in charge of Afghanistan are OUR Taliban.

All I Know Is What I See On CNN

Back to Will Rogers. He said, “All I know is what I read in the newspapers.”

I guess most of us get our news via some form of electronic media these days. All I know is what I see on CNN. A CNN story:

Abdul Rahman is a man on trial for his life. This man has committed the crime of converting to Christianity. Apparently, in that enlightened part of the world known as Afghanistan, denying Islam is a capital offense.

"Rejecting Islam is insulting God. We will not allow God to be humiliated. This man must die," said cleric Abdul Raoulf.

It was reported that George Bush was “deeply troubled.” Condoleezza Rice telephoned Afghanistan’s President, Hamid Karzai seeking a "favorable resolution" of the case of Abdul Rahman. But in deference to the sovereignty of Afghanistan she did not demand the man’s release. A spokesman for Ms. Rice pointed out that “this is clearly an Afghan decision.”

Good idea, let’s leave it to them, the folks that brought you the Taliban, ancient Buddhist statue demolition (idols!!!), and public beheadings between periods of the soccer game (their equivalent of a halftime show). Not to mention Osama Bin Laden’s terrorist training camps. We wouldn’t want to interfere in the internal politics of a budding democracy, would we?

The article did say that the Afghan government was searching for a way to drop the case, but the article went on to say that conservative clerics claim "The government is scared of the international community. But the people will kill him if he is freed." and the country's main Islamic organization, the Afghan Ulama Council, concurred. "The government is playing games. The people will not be fooled."

Aside from the absurdity of demanding a man’s death because of his religious beliefs, how unbelievably difficult it must be to live in a place where cleric Abdul Raoulf is considered a moderate.

CNN article 2:
BATON ROUGE, La. Federal prosecutors in Baton Rouge will take up the misdemeanor case against a Mississippi sheriff accused of commandeering two ice trucks from a federal reservation and sending them to relief centers after Hurricane Katrina.

After watching residents of his county suffer for days while waiting for federal hurricane relief, fed up with the inept bureaucratic bull, Forrest County Sheriff, Billy McGee took a couple of his deputies to National Guard Camp Shelby, and commandeered two tractor trailer trucks loaded with ice. The ice had been there for days while the people of Forrest County sweltered without electricity or refrigeration of any sort.

The sheriff was confronted by army national guardsmen who refused to allow him to take the ice. He ordered his deputies to arrest the guardsmen, and then he took the ice to his townspeople. He did something while the federal government was watching the ice melt while trying to figure out their next move.

By the way, Sheriff McGee agreed to plead guilty to a misdemeanor. He did this to make the case go away. Although he offered a plea bargain, the federal prosecutor wouldn’t accept the deal. Evidently, the US government thought it would be better to spend its (our) time and money to go after a man who tried to help his fellow townspeople. The US government couldn't just accept his guilty plea or (more appropriately) just drop the case. Frankly, a medal, not an indictment should be given to the sheriff. But then the federal government would have to acknowledge that its incompetance drove an obvioulsy dedicated public servant to take matters into his own hands to do the right thing.

Two unrelated stories, right.

How about this:

Afghanistan is one backward place, where the niceties of the rights of an individual has yet to be discovered. Women are still their husband’s property and adultery is punished by death by stoning and thieves lose their hands. We are trying to bring this country into the civilized world. The British couldn’t do it, the USSR couldn’t do it and we won’t succed either. The Afghan culture is still hanging on to social concepts that most of the people of the world abandoned in the 1700’s. The country is really run by warlords and their clans. They finance their activities by selling drugs (opium poppies) and the government consists of the "meanest mother in the valley" and his heavily armed relatives. In American cities we call these guys "gangs", and the government tries to put them behind bars. I'm still trying to figure out where the fundimentalist Mullahs fit into this puzzle, they must be the spiritual advisors to the "Robin Hoods" of these merry bands of Afghani men who really govern their clan's turf, sort of Islamic Friars Tuck.

The US has about 20,000 or so troops in Afghanistan. The Afghan government can’t get across to its people that democracy means that not only the majority rules, but minorities have rights, too. In fact the government only governs a small part of the country. Most of Afghanistan is probably in worse shape than Mississippi and Louisiana right afther Katrina. Some enterprising US major, colonel, or general in Kabul should take a couple of hundred heavily armed troops to the jail and escort Abdul Rahman to a safe place while the two national governments suck up to each other. Do this while Condi and George work their diplomatic magic, but before some enterprising mullah removes Abdul’s infidel head from his infidel body.

Who are we kidding? We can’t do anything because we respect their sovereignty? We've already invaded and occupied the country, what soverignity? Wouldn't want to offend the freedom loving people of Afghanistan now that we have given them democracy, would we?

NATURE CALLS

Doctor, I swear I heard it with my own ears…. And recently this has been an on going thing. Periodically I hear voices emanating from my pants. No, it is not alcohol or drugs. At first I just couldn’t place them, but I do hear voices. They’re calling out “hello, hello, hello….” And they’re coming from my pants.

The last time it happened was last night. For twenty eight years in Atlantic City there has been The North East Regional Mortgage Bankers Convention
I’ve been to almost every one.

Same old same old, but like a lemming to the sea, I must go….

Fatter, grayer versions of people I’ve known or done business with for almost thirty years get to see that I am still alive and in the business (although also fatter and grayer, but I do still have my own hair --- unlike some). More business suppliers show up every year, selling a greater variety of the same shit to a larger number of companies vying for a smaller share of the home loan business…

I listen to people that assure me that there is no bubble, and others that assure me that when we meet again next year there will be a lot less of these companies in business after the bubble breaks.

Same stuff for the last twenty eight years, but this is the first year that my penis spoke to me. Yes, Doctor, and with my wife’s voice….

Back to last night, after my annual glass of beer at a convention reception, (ok, two, but they were small), social, party animal that I am, I left those wild and crazy mortgage bankers to their party scene (after all it was 10 PM) to go to my hotel room and read (that’s my story and I sticking to it). Now beer doing what it does, upon return to the room, I headed for the bathroom, and I began to do what men do when beer does what it does.. .

And then there it was …. my wife’s voice…” HELLO, HELLO, HELLO”… emanating from the open zipper in my unzipped pants. This is too much. I know that after 33 years of marriage some couples finish each others sentences, they dress alike, they even begin to look alike, but when Mr. Johnson speaks with my wife’s voice it’s time to seek help….

It all started when I bought a Blackberry, great for e-mail, but a shitty phone… Cumbersome, and the disconnect button’s in the wrong place, so I’m always hanging up on people. So I got a Bluetooth to go with the Blackberry. This makes it a more colorful, but still shitty, phone. Now the big button on the Bluetooth, when pushed, will recall the last number called on the Blackberry. So instead of accidentally hanging up on people, I accidentally call people. Dutiful and faithful husband, having already checked in with the Mrs. while on the way back to my room, her number was now on top of the list. While maneuvering into position, I must have pushed the button.

After finishing the task at hand, (no pun intended) I fished the Bluetooth out of my pocket, whereupon my wife says, “you were going to the bathroom, weren’t you?” Shitty phone, but a great microphone on that Bluetooth.

All I have to say is, as long as I have a Bluetooth in my pocket, I’ll be keeping my pants on….